GET RID OF FROZEN EMOTIONS

GET RID OF FROZEN EMOTIONS

A famous spiritual teacher, Osho, once had a conversation in which a woman from his audience asked for a solution to her health problems. The woman suffered from serious symptoms that began around the time her husband died. Five years had passed since then, and her physical condition was deteriorating. Osho asked if she mourned the death of her husband, and the woman replied that she could not afford to because so much responsibility had been left on her shoulders. She was afraid that expressing weakness would plunge her into grief, and she would not be able to control her own life and take care of her loved ones. So, she suppressed her natural urge to cry.

Crying is not just tears. Crying is made up of the emotions that we let go of outside ourselves. If we do not all[1]low emotions to do so, they may stay with us forever, and negative emotions destroy us mentally and physically. They can manifest themselves in muscles that are tenser than before, in chronic pains, cardiac arrhythmias or other real and physical symptoms. Emotions blocked in this way can be referred to as “frozen” and, the longer we live, the bigger our chances are of accumulating a lot of them.

There is a technique called EFT – “Emotional Freedom Technique.” The method is straightforward to apply but seems so stupid and abstract that most people don’t believe it works. You just speak (alone or in front of others), about the most difficult emotions that have happened to you. Emotions that make you feel very frightened just by thinking of them, so speaking of them creates discomfort and stress. You might not want to go back to those memories but if just thinking or speaking about them makes you feel discomfort, it is a sign that they are still there and may have a significant impact on your current life and self.

According to the EFT method, we should try to rate the power of these emotions on a scale of one to ten while we talk about them. If you feel a lot of tension, your heart beats faster, hands start sweating, and you become nervous, then it is probably between six to ten. If something happened years ago and stills evokes such a scale of experience, it may actively affect your body and its physical ailments. So, you should simply allow yourself to talk about these emotions instead of running away, even if it is the biggest tragedy of your life. When you share and freely speak it prevents you from blocking it out of your mind, allowing it to flow through you. It is exactly the same process during a funeral when families meet and are not afraid to show emotions, sadness, grief, frustration or even anger. Together they are strong enough to release emotions instead of pretending to be cold and distant.

During EFT, after fifteen minutes of speaking about these difficult events and feelings, you ask yourself again what the level of your emotions are on the scale from one to ten and realize they now much less than eight or nine. Your body isn’t shaking and is more at peace, your hands have stopped sweating, your heartbeat is slower. Sometimes it happens after fifteen minutes, sometimes after one hour, or a few sessions repeated day by day.Finally, these negative feelings pass through you instead of staying in the body and destroying it for years.

Healthy people use EFT unconsciously every day. If you’ve learned to speak freely of your feelings and ex[1]press your opinions, then you are naturally using a form of EFT. But in civilized societies people are more and more artificial and prefer to keep matters of great importance, sometimes due to shame or potential loss of prestige, to themselves. That’s why it is good to have family or true friends with who you can talk, rather than sharing your deepest wounds with random people at work.

The art of radical acceptance has its practical uses in everyday situations to help us stay in better health, where we let ourselves feel instead of avoiding things.

Many people find that they cannot cope with hot summer temperatures simply because of the heat, it irritates them and increases the feeling of warmth significantly by creating the illusion that it is warmer than it really is.

Instead of fighting the temperature, let’s try to accept the feeling of it. Fighting with something causes resistance, just like a quarrel with someone, the more resistance, the more heated the argument, right? When one side decides to accept and listen instead of constantly arguing, emotions start to flow again and hostility softens, the situation gets healed. A similar thing happens when we accept hot weather, suddenly we feel much more comfort able.

That’s why some people love hot and sunny weather and others feel tired, irritated, and have constant headaches.

This technique is also used by people who enter cold water to strengthen their immune systems. For the average person, this is too uncomfortable, but those who decide to accept the feelings and focus on them instead of fighting them can withstand the water for longer. This sensation then strengthens their immune systems because they challenged themselves.

Radical acceptance can be pushed even further. The famous rapper Eminem used it during a rap battle. In rap battles two rappers offend each other, and the most creative one wins the contest. Instead of criticizing his opponent, Eminem devoted his entire speech to criticize and ridicule himself, he listed all his shortcomings, even exaggerating them.

What do you think the opponent could do then? Eminem took the strongest weapon from his opponent’s mouth. Imagine one your friends call you “stupid” and criticizes you, but instead of fighting back you react with exaggerated acceptance of their opinion. “Oh, you’re right. I’m even worse than that.”

This way, you’re not vulnerable to the criticism any[1]more. People love watching their opponents grow in anger because they gain some kind of control over them. With the technique outlined above, you regain that control and leave them helpless, whether their arguments are right or wrong, they no longer have power over you.

During radical acceptance, we venture with open hands to what is happening. If someone speaks negatively about us, criticizes our work, our project, instead of fighting and arguing with them, we look them straight in the eyes and say with complete acceptance: “It’s okay. You have the right to feel that way. You have the right to express your opinion.”

We simply just accept their disagreement. People can spend hours arguing, not wanting to accept their opponent’s opinion because they believe it is reality. It is just a sentence. A bunch of words. So, we should accept the fact that they can express their opinion and, in doing so, it doesn’t make their opinion real. We accept and we continue on our paths. When they speak wisely, we can sometimes bend over and utilize their suggestions. It de[1]pends on us, because it is not necessary.

The healing power of radical acceptance is about letting negative emotions go through you so you don’t internalize them for too long. It’s that feeling when you share something with others and suddenly feel twenty pounds lighter, like a big rock was taken off your chest. Radical acceptance can make older people feel younger again

You read a chapter from my book. If you like it read the entire book here https://pawel-lipka.com/books/

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