What do you see in a cafe? There are lots of people sitting and talking to each other, people in their own minds. People exchanging thoughts, recalling past events, talking about somebody or some ideas. But they all are in their own minds, without any physical movement. Most people already live in their heads and the physical world isn’t as important as it seems to be. This is the first thing people with physical disabilities may have in mind.

The biggest problem in life is time. If you spend time well then you can survive unimaginable situations. If you are busy talking to others, listening to their stories, writing a book, or planning future businesses, then two years pass like two months. You just redirect your energy to different dimensions, and it leads to absolute freedom.

Just an awareness of that fact can be helpful for disabled people. Another thing is awareness of our needs. We all have different kinds of them, physical, mental, spiritual. There is a theory that if you feel a need to do something, then you should either do it, even if someone sees it as wrong, or just forget about it. The worst scenario is when you don’t solve the need in any way, leaving it to torment you, making you feel weaker and unfulfilled. People have many physical needs and habits, so if you are no longer able to fulfill them, you should fully accept this fact. The moment of complete acceptance can help you to get rid of this particular need from your mind.

But the art of letting go is tricky, you can’t let go by thinking, “I don’t need those legs anymore, I don’t need to enter running contests anymore.” The art of letting go is about focusing on something else, to the point you forget about the legs or marathons.

My three-year-old daughter loves chocolates. When she sees one on the table she starts doing everything to get it. I can give it to her, and now we are at peace, but when I try to tell her: “You already ate three of them, please go and play with your sister,” it only frustrates her, so after a while she asks again and again. She still believes there is a chance to get that chocolate.

If I don’t want to give it to her, I can say: “Nina, what about watching your favorite fairy tale?” She loves fairy tales so much that she completely forgets about chocolate after a minute of watching. Redirecting her focus to something better or funnier does the job, but another method is complete acceptance.

If I do not want to give her the chocolate because I truly believe it is bad for her health, or because she was already overeating, I can express myself in a way that cuts off all negotiations. If she truly believes me, then it is the end of the talk. There is no room for any negotiation. She knows she won’t get any more chocolates so she doesn’t waste any more energy asking about them. For this to work, she has to feel it is impossible to get them, only then the point of complete acceptance is achieved.

At this moment, both myself and she are relieved of these annoying negotiations.

Blending the concepts of acceptance and redirection work best, as acceptance itself may not bring you happiness. So, if I decided firmly enough not to give my daughter any more chocolates, she will focus her mind on something else to find fulfillment. That’s the best scenario.

Life is more about the emotions we feel than real experiences, so you can discover real freedom as a physically disabled person by applying these two techniques.

Just because we are physically weak, does not mean that we have to be weak as human beings.

You read a chapter from my book. If you like it read the entire book here

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Wordpress Social Share Plugin powered by Ultimatelysocial